London seems to be trying to one-up America on American-ness lately. A chain called Ed's Easy Diner is now offering a pizza burger on their menu, in honor of the NFL making its way across the pond.
But this isn't your normal patty-with-tomato-sauce-and-cheese deal like we're used to in America. This is a burger topped with bacon and sandwiched between what appear to be two microwaved personal pizzas.
This is very cute, Britain, but there is a larger issue here that must be addressed: Why are we trying so hard to make the pizza and the burger work?
They're clearly not compatible. If you want to take the core components of pizza -- melted cheese and tomato sauce -- and add them to meat, there are plenty of proven success stories already out there. See: veal parm, chicken parm, meatball anything.
The fine people at Ed's started with a clever enough concept: Replace sandwich bread with pizza. Unfortunately, by using this technique on a burger (which is a type of sandwich), they've opened the door to a culinary wonderland only to trip while crossing the threshold.
Leave the burgers to their buns and try one of these Pizza Sandwich suggestions:
- The Breakfast Sandwich. Pizza for breakfast is good. Pizza for a breakfast sandwich is better. Take your two re-heated slices of pizza and slide some eggs in between them -- fried, soft-boiled, you name it. The melted cheese is the ideal bonding agent. If you want to get fancy add some pancetta, arugula, or crumbled sausage. If you plan to use scrambled eggs, check out Dan Pashman's egg sandwich patty technique, which he demonstrated for Matt Lauer on the TODAY Show.)
- Meatball Sub. Instead of a sub or hero roll, USE PIZZA. Slice the meatballs flat for easy sandwichization. That's all you need to know.
- The Chicken Parmwich. Another Dan Pashman original, this stunning use of leftovers is pizza's highest calling. Eggplant parm would work just as well for the vegetarians out there.
What would you sandwich in pizza? What are your thoughts on the pizza burger phenomenon? Let us know in the comments.
Photos: Ed's Easy Diner, Dan Pashman