For better or worse, Yelp is a major force in how people get information on restaurants. Some Yelpers do great work and are responsible for some excellent meals I've had around the world. But some don't, and it would be great if those Yelpers would consider a few things before posting:
1) Try to use no more than one douche prefix per post. Yes, a place may be filled with douchebags, douchelords, or be a front to back douchecanoe, but douche long ago lost its descriptive power. So the next time you're tempted to write "it's like management trained the servers out of the Book of Doucheronomy 7:2," please reach for other pejoratives. The English language is huge. And even if your vocabulary isn't, there's help around.
2) Stop writing "nom nom nom." Perhaps you think you're especially clever to evoke the sound of a happily dining Cookie Monster, maybe even an Ewok or Danny DeVito. But you are not the first, second, or thousandth person to think of this. Please try something new. (Nothing against the reviewers linked to here - they just happened to land high on a long, long list of people who used nom nom variations in their reviews.)
3) Have a basic knowledge of the cuisine you're reviewing. If you're eating a restaurant serving authentic Mexican, the type as an actual Mexican in Mexico might enjoy, do not complain about the lack of ground beef, hard shell tacos or shredded iceberg lettuce. You're saying nothing about the restaurant and everything about how this is your first journey beyond Taco Bell. They do have Taco Bell in Mexico. But it's called American food.
I've never Yelped myself, partly because I cook far more often than I dine out. Yelp drives me nuts sometimes, but I'm definitely grateful for the many great reviewers there who work hard to create accurate, useful reviews. /mark
