As discussed in this week's episode of The Sporkful, the advent of the Dairy Queen Blizzard was a seminal moment in my development as an eater and a fat kid. (See photo of me, circa 1987, two years after the Blizzard's introduction.) Years later, while working as a data entry temp, a vivid dream led me to compose this great (read: terrible) work of poetry...

I Dreamed of a Dairy Queen Blizzard Last Night

I dreamed of a Dairy Queen Blizzard last night
With M&Ms, ice cream and more
It was filled to the bottom with toppings
Heath Bars and Reese’s galore

I dreamed of a Dairy Queen Blizzard last night
A creamy and crunchy cold treat
I almost chewed right through my pillow
Cause the dream made me eager to eat

I dreamed of a Dairy Queen Blizzard last night
So real I could taste it I’m sure
I woke and I just had to have one
So I jumped up and ran out the door

I dreamed of a Dairy Queen Blizzard last night
A vision both cruel and sublime
Cause I must be at work at 8:30
And DQ doesn’t open till nine

I dreamed of a Dairy Queen Blizzard last night
Now I’m stuck at my desk like a knave
But I know it will just be a matter of time
Till my stomach receives what it craves

I dreamed of a Dairy Queen Blizzard last night
And I thought of it till work did end
Then I ran like the world’s fastest sprinter
To the DQ that’s just ‘round the bend

I dreamed of a Dairy Queen Blizzard last night
And at last my great dream has come true
Candy and ice cream in perfect proportion
I’ll love you forever, DQ.