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Dan Savage Recommends A Polyeaterous Lifestyle

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Feb 11, 2015

This week's episode of The Sporkful podcast is up! Listen through the player and subscribe in iTunes.

**Warning: This week’s show is not for kids. My interview with relationship columnist Dan Savage contains mature subject matter and bad words.

Food is a huge issue in relationships -- from what you order on a first date to how you cook and eat together after years of marriage.

Just in time for Valentine's Day, we're talking about eating in relationships -- with Dan Savage, host of the relationship advice podcast Savage Lovecast, and Anna Sale, host of WNYC's Death, Sex & Money podcast.

What should you cook for breakfast the morning after if you want the person to stay? (What if you want them to go?) What if you and your partner have very different taste in food? And how can couples share power in the kitchen without driving each other crazy?

"Back slowly out of the kitchen and go do something else if you can’t look at someone cooking without tossing comments about how they could be doing it better," Dan tells me. "That’s a bad strategy for cooking, it’s a bad strategy for sex."

Dan even offers me some advice for my own "mixed-food" marriage. That's right, while I like to go out to restaurants, Mrs. Sporkful often prefers to eat cereal on the couch. Sometimes our dueling diets can be a source of tension.

But Dan and I come up with a brilliant solution: polyeatery -- when committed partners eat out with other people. It's very new age.

“You go out with other people and have those fancy foodie meals with other people who can really appreciate and enjoy it. And you don’t make her perform delight in a restaurant where she is bored," Dan says. "Then you’re both happy.”

bruschetta

Plus, my friend Anna Sale stops by to talk about how food figures in her own relationship. In the first episode of her Death, Sex & Money podcast, former Wyoming senator Alan Simpson famously intervened to keep Anna and her fiancé Arthur together.

But Anna tells us the lesser known story of how their relationship really began -- with a plate of bruschetta.

"I was hungry and frustrated, and it was this incredible feeling of ‘I can be taken care of too.’ This is what relationships should feel like," Anna says. "It does totally transform the dynamic in the household when the woman is not the primary cook."

Be sure to check out Death, Sex & Money's hour-long Valentine’s Day special, "Real Love" -- coming to a public radio station near you.

And here's how to make your inbox more delicious: Sign up for The Sporkful newsletter! If you register by noon (EST) on February 20, 2015, you'll be automatically entered to win a free copy of Dan's book, Eat More Better. If you're already on the list, you're already entered!

Interstitial music in this episode by BWN Music:

- "Scrambloid" by Kenneth J. Brahmstedt

- "Hip Hop Slidester" by Steve Pierson

Photos: HuffPost Gay Voices; Flickr CC: Pankaj Kaushal; Flickr CC: Henry C

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