MUSIC

Dan Pashman: This is The Sporkful. It's not for foodies, it's for eaters. I'm Dan Pashman. Each week on our show, we obsess about food to learn more about people. And today, we're going back to the phones, taking your calls about your food related relationship issues and disputes. The food related grudge that's been festering like that banana that's been sitting on your countertop for way too long. You swear you'll deal with it, you'll turn it into banana bread, but you're probably actually going to throw it in the garbage. It's time to confront the rotting banana in your relationship, and the Sporkful is here to help, but we won't be doing it alone. I'm pleased to welcome back to the show Brittany Luce and Eric Eddings, co-host of the podcast For Colored Nerds. You two were on the Sporkful earlier this year answering questions. You gave such solid advice, I had to have you back here. Hey, Brittany and Eric.

Eric Eddings: Hey.

Brittany Luse: Hey.

Eric Eddings: Call in show so nice, we got to do it twice. 

Brittany Luse: Gotta do it twice. 

Dan Pashman: That's right. Now, before we get to the phones let’s check in a little bit, because I was recently remembering the conversation we had the last time you were on. I roasted a chicken about three days ago, pulled it out of the oven. Those wingtips were perked up and charred, nice and dark brown, and I snapped them off and chomped a bit — 

Brittany Luse: Mm-hmm. 

Dan Pashman: Of the end, like I do, and I thought of both of you.

Brittany Luse: Thank you so much.

Dan Pashman: Brittany. You and I are both Team Wingtip. 

Brittany Luse: Mm-hmm. 

Dan Pashman: Eric, have you come around since the last time we spoke?

Eric Eddings: I have not. I am sticking by my wingtip-less life and future. And, you know, I'm pouring one out for the bites of food that you probably could have eaten, that weren't wing tips.

Dan Pashman: [LAUGHS] You mean, that weren't as crunchy and flavorful?

Brittany Luse: Oh my — exactly. Crunchy, flavorful. There's a real earthiness to wingtips that you think you're missing out on. But, you know, I mean, at your big age, if you haven't turned around yet, I mean, what's going to — what are the odds of change?

Dan Pashman: Hey, look, you know, he's still young, Brittany. I mean, I didn't — I couldn't bite straight into a tomato till I was about 35. Okay? 

Eric Eddings: See? There you go. Oh, although I don't think I have something I need to change per se, you know? 

Dan Pashman: [LAUGHS] 

Eric Eddings: So, but I do agree I'm not too old to change about things that are worth changing for.

Brittany Luse: Let's see.

Dan Pashman: Yeah, we're all continually evolving.

Eric Eddings: [LAUGHS] Yes.

Brittany Luse: I mean, we are. I don’t know that about Eric.

Eric Eddings: Except on this.

Brittany Luse: I don't know.

Dan Pashman: So Brittany, we know you, in particular, as the one of the pair with the hottest hot food takes. 

Brittany Luse: Hmm.

Dan Pashman: You recently tweeted, "I have food at home in a good parking space, two doors down. Why do I want fries from the McDonald's drive thru?" 

Eric Eddings: Hmm. 

Dan Pashman: You wrote a follow up tweet that said, "I eat my little home food. And you know what? It was good. Fries tomorrow." You then had another tweet a few weeks later you —

Brittany Luse: When did I say a few weeks later? I remember those two. What happened next? 

Dan Pashman: You said, "I have food at home but what I really want for dinner is a slice of this cake I once saw in an episode of Barney 30 years ago."

Brittany Luse: Yes. Yes. And somebody correctly identified it. 

Dan Pashman: So, first of all, tell me about this cake.

Eric Eddings: Yeah. 

Brittany Luse: It was a cake from a Barney — I don't know if it was an episode that aired on television or if it was just one of the ones that came on a VHS. I don't imagine that like PBS was this big content farm back then, so it probably did air on television at some point. 

[LAUGHING] 

Brittany Luse: But yeah, it was Barney's, I think, first birthday or third birthday — Barney's a toddler, which was very confusing to me. 

Dan Pashman: [LAUGHS] 

Brittany Luse: And the kids make this huge cake. It is a pink cake with purple icing, that is piped around the edges, like for trimming. And I think it says like, "Happy Birthday, Barney". I don't know if the kids decorated it. I can't remember. Someone found the clip and I looked at it now and following as many like food styling TikTok accounts as I do now, I'm like, oh, this is cardboard. This is cardboard.

Dan Pashman: Right. Yes. 

[LAUGHING] 

Brittany Luse: And like, these children are probably putting like unset cement of some sort, as frosting on this cake. It did actually make me crave the cake. But I am — I mean, as of the time of this recording, I'm getting married next Friday.

Eric Eddings: There’s cake in your future.

Brittany Luse: Yeah, there's cake in my future, and so I'm holding out for that.

Dan Pashman: Eric, you're going to Brittany's wedding?

Eric Eddings: Yeah, I'm trying to get some cake.

Dan Pashman: Knowing that Brittany is a person who cares a lot about food, do you have, like, very high expectations for her, for the food at her wedding? Is there a pressure on her, do you think?

Eric Eddings: Here's the thing. I will actually say I have high expectations, but because for what it's worth, I don't give Britney praise often, but when she does cook, it's good. I will — I'll shout out to that.

Brittany Luse: Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Eric Eddings: And so I think more so what I have is a lack of apprehension. Usually, I'm going to a wedding, I'm like, oh damn, I'm going to be somewhere for a bunch of hours. I get one meal, maybe some snacks, and I got to drink a lot, too? I get a little bit of anxiety, but I actually feel comfortable for whatever food will be. 

Dan Pashman: Wait, you get anxiety, that when you go to a wedding, there won't be enough food?

Brittany Luse: Well, because the food at weddings is so — it's iffy. 

Dan Pashman: It might not be great, but it's not usually lacking in quantity. 

Eric Eddings: It's not lacking in quantity, but there's always a process for how you get your food. I love a wedding buffet, but typically it's like doled out table by table ...

Dan Pashman: Right. 

Eric Eddings: You gotta wait.

Dan Pashman: So it's a control issue for you, Eric?

Eric Eddings: There's a programming ... Yeah, I want to eat. If I want a second plate, I want to be able to get a second plate. 

Brittany Luse: Yeah. 

Eric Eddings: I don't want to be walking through somebody’s like cake-cutting ceremony because I want an extra chicken wing or two. You know? 

[LAUGHING]

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Dan Pashman: You two have been friends for a very long time. You're both in relationships, so you've got a lot of wisdom that I think you can share with our callers. Now, remember, folks are calling in with food related disputes, something that really pushes their buttons with a friend or a loved one. And we want you to help advise, help them settle the issue. Mediate. All right, you ready?

Eric Eddings: I think we can do it.

Brittany Luse: We can — we got this. We got this.

Dan Pashman: All right, here we go. Let's go to the phones. Hi. Who's this?

Marcia: Hi, Dan, it's Marcia from Toronto. I'm here with my husband, Rick.

Rick: Hello.

Marcia: And here's our issue. When he cooks anything with ground beef ...

Eric Eddings: Hmm.

Brittany Luse: Hmm.

Marcia: He takes — he seasons it, and then he takes a chunk of the meat to taste it raw to make sure that it's okay. He will buy smoked bacon, which is — looks raw from the butcher, and he'll bring it home and he'll eat it without cooking it, saying that, “Oh, it's okay, it's smoked.” And then the worst — the really the worst, is our daughter will hard boil eggs for Easter. 

Brittany Luse: Mm-hmm. 

Marcia: and she'll dye them and it'll sit in a pretty basket on the table for about three weeks or so. And then Rick will just take one out of the basket after it's been sitting there for so long and and eat it. 

[LAUGHING] 

Brittany Luse: Dang.

Marcia: So I don't think any of these things are very healthy to do. And I should note that we have two children who are food scientists, who also back me up on this. 

[LAUGHING]

Eric Eddings: I have to say, Rick, you seem fearless. I have to say.

Brittany Luse: Also, the immune system on you. Man, like ...

Rick: I'm really not sure what the fuss is all about because I think it's perfectly fine. And as I tried to tell my lovely wife several times, I believe it's because of this that my immune system has gotten so strong.

Brittany Luse: Hmm.

Dan Pashman: So, Marcia and Rick, how long have you been married? 

Marcia: We've been married six years, but we've been together almost sixteen years.

Dan Pashman: Okay. And you've been having this argument for about as long?

Marcia: 16 years. 

[LAUGHING]

Dan Pashman: Okay. Got it. 

[LAUGHING] 

Dan Pashman: Marcia, is Rick's immune system especially strong? Like, does he get sick more or less than other people, you think?

Marcia: I don't think any more or less than other people. I will say that he probably doesn't have a lot of stomach issues.

Dan Pashman: Hm. Interesting.

Marcia: But I'm still not sure that this is the right way to be going.

Eric Eddings: That was a very pained admission. I could tell you were so reluctant to share that fact.

Marcia: Yeah.

Rick: I just want to add that I'm… one of the things that I am big on is a scientific test called the smell test. 

Marcia: Hm. 

Brittany Luse: Hmm. 

Rick: So if the stuff smells okay, it's okay. I may be presented as this reckless person eating by eating my food, but I do have guardrails. I don't do this with chicken or, you know, pork. You know, if it's out of the best before date by a couple of years or so, I won't touch it either. But uh ...

Eric Eddings: A couple years!

Brittany Luse: That's a wide margin.

Dan Pashman: Yeah. 

Brittany Luse: Can I ask a question about the ground beef, Rick? Is there like a sensation or a taste thing that really grabs you about it? 

Rick: And I want to set expectations here correctly, too. I don't cook that much. 

Eric Eddings: Okay. 

[LAUGHING]

Rick: Marcia does all the cooking, but every so often I'll try and look like the hero. And I'll make some meatballs with spaghetti or a meatloaf or whatever. And I'm not eating the food for a meal. I'm eating it just to know, do I have enough seasoning? Does it taste okay?

Brittany Luse: Hmm. 

Eric Eddings: I specialize in a damn good mashed potato, if I say so myself. And, you know, I've been making it so long that I can just make it. I don't actually need to really taste it. Are these, like, your dishes? So, like, when you make meatloaf, you know, is it like Rick's meatloaf? Or Rick's meatballs? So I guess I'm curious about the experience. How long have you been making these dishes?

Dan Pashman: Eric, you're saying perhaps Rick shouldn't need to test it as he goes anymore because he's been doing it for so long?

Eric Eddings: Yeah. I mean, do you not trust yourself?

Rick: Eric, you're not helping the cause.

[LAUGHING] 

Rick: But I've been cooking these things for quite a while, just not on a particular regular kind of cadence. So I may only make them two or three times a year, and I like to use what I have around. You know, I'm not going to go to some recipe and, oh, I'm missing this spice and go out to the store and get it. I'm going to open up a cupboard, see what I see and kind of put a plan together from that point.

Dan Pashman: And so there's the ground beef, there's the Easter eggs that have been sitting out for weeks. To the best of your knowledge, both of you, Marcia and Rick, has Rick ever gotten sick from eating any of these old or uncooked foods?

Marcia: Ugh. Okay, Dan, now you're not helping my cause.

[LAUGHING]

Marcia: I don't think so. I mean, there's been times …

Rick: Why is it taking so long to say no, Marcia?

[LAUGHING]

Marcia: But you know what? If it does occur some time, I'm a little bit concerned because obviously I'm concerned about his health. And then, when the man has the common cold, he's lying in bed going, “I'm dying.” So I selfishly, if it's food poisoning, listeria or E. Coli, I just think it's going to be unbearable and not pleasant for him as well. 

Brittany Luse: I understand, I totally ... 

Dan Pashman: But mostly unbearable for you.

Eric Eddings: Yeah, exactly.

Brittany Luse: Yeah. I totally understand where you're coming from, Marcia. My fiancee, when he got — he got the flu once and it became an event. We had to go to the emergency room. I had to miss work the next day.

Eric Eddings: I feel like I remember this.

Brittany Luse: Yes. I mean, he was so dramatic about it on social media. At one point, my former boss sent him some tacos at home, like get well. I'm like, okay, what? You know? And I mean, not to put my dad's business also out there, my dad does the exact same thing. It's a very common issue with many men across at least North America, as far as I'm aware. And I can understand why you wouldn't wanna put yourself in a position to be — you know what I mean — playing doctor, nurse, and butler for however many days.

Marcia: Thank you, Brittany.

Brittany Luse: You don’t want to be in that position. I get it. I get it.

Dan Pashman: Can I ask you, Rick, so you have you said you two kids who are food scientists and they both say that you shouldn't be doing this?

Rick: I have — no, I've had it said more in a casual manner ... 

Dan Pashman: Marcia's nodding.

Rick: Nobody has jumped up and down and said, you know, “Dad, you're going to die.” 

Dan Pashman: Are you, generally speaking, Rick, a risk taker?

Rick: In some matters, I probably am.

Marcia: I think he is definitely more of the risk taker. I mean, he's the one that's undoing his seatbelt half a mile before we're at home and I'm yelling at him, “Put it on! Accidents aren't planned!”

Rick: Well, the seatbelt is as a health concern there, too. Now that I'm getting older, I probably have to hurry up inside and go to the bathroom. But there is a necessity.

Dan Pashman: Do you find that risk-taking gives you a certain thrill?

Rick: Yeah, probably.

Dan Pashman: I was asking about risk taking, kind of to follow up on what Brittany was asking earlier, which is sort of like, why are you doing this, Rick? Is it because it tastes good? Is it because you don't like wasting food, like in the case of the eggs that some people might throw them out? And you don't like that idea? Is it that you like the thrill of spinning that roulette wheel, the roulette wheel of food safety?

Rick: I genuinely feel that there is no risk, and I don't like wasting food.

Marcia: Dan, I think you missed the option of, I just do it to drive my wife crazy, I think.

[LAUGHING]

Dan Pashman: Brittany and Eric, what do you think?

Brittany Luse: Well, I wonder if a possible solution could be maybe, what, the next time that you make meatballs and the next time you make meatloaf will be the last time because you can take notes of how you've been preparing things.

Eric Eddings: Hmmm. Hmm. 

Brittany Luse: Do the last taste test ever just to be like, “Okay, I know that I've got the meatballs right. I know I've got the meatloaf right.” And then you can trust for the rest of your life, every time that you make these dishes, they are perfectly seasoned to your liking. And then you have a recipe that you can pass down and they can really be Rick's meatballs and Rick's meatloaf. 

Dan Pashman: Eric, what are your thoughts?

Eric Eddings: So I'm of a couple of minds. When we think about Russian roulette, there is a time when you lose. And sometimes when you lose, it's really bad. So, like, you know, I understand the fear that Marcia has. The thing I will say, I know the science, but I also know that when I'm making cookie dough, and I sneak a pretty fair amount of the dough, dammit, it's good. You've been living, you know, a good life. You're happy. You're enjoying each action that you take. I kind of — I think I'm going to land on the side of, you know, keep it rocking.

Brittany Luse: Wow.

Eric Eddings: And like, you know, just maybe, maybe — it's only the eggs I actually worry about.

Brittany Luse: The eggs. 

Eric Eddings: Something about the eggs stresses me out. But everything else, I'm actually like, eh, I hear you. So I lean towards, you know, keep it rockin, maybe be a little quieter about it. You know?

Dan Pashman: That doesn't sound like Rick's style, Eric.

[LAUGHING]

Marcia: So, Eric, I just want to get your commitment that if something does happen and he does get sick, that you'll come up to Toronto and you'll look after him. 

Brittany Luse: I like that. I like that. That's a good idea.

Rick: And Brittany I'd like to talk to your boyfriend and dad when they — feel free to give them my phone number, if they have a cold or the flu because I know exactly what they're going through. And it's just I'm — those support channels are really, really important. 

[LAUGHING]

Brittany Luse: I appreciate it.

Dan Pashman: I'll just add that I agree with you, Brittany and Eric. I don't think that Rick is going to change. It seems like it's going okay for now. And Marcia, I would say, like as unpleasant as it would be if Rick did get sick from doing this sometime and you'd have to deal with him complaining for however many days, look on the bright side. You'd be able to hold that over him for the rest of your lives!

Marcia: Good point. Thank you, Dan.

Brittany Luse: That is good. I'll save it for myself.

Marcia: Great point.

Dan Pashman: You know that would be worth a few days of misery.

Marcia: Absolutely. For sure.

Dan Pashman: So I think you win either way.

Marcia: That's right. It's true.

Rick: Dan, I think I’ve got to rethink this whole thing now.

[LAUGHING]

Dan Pashman: Well, Rick and Marcia, best of luck in Toronto. Rick, enjoy your next fistful of raw meat and or three-week-old hard boiled eggs that have been left out on the table.

Marcia: Thanks guys. Nice meeting you all.

Rick: Thanks. Nice meeting you all.

Eric Eddings: Nice meeting you.

Brittany Luse: Nice meeting you too. 

Marcia: Take care. Bye bye.

Dan Pashman: Thank you. Bye bye. 

Brittany Luse: Bye.

MUSIC 

Dan Pashman: All right, Brittany and Eric, we're gonna take a quick break. When we come back, guys want take one more?

Eric Eddings: We got time. Let’s do it.

Brittany Luse: Let's go for it.

Dan Pashman: All right. Stick around.

MUSIC

 

+++ BREAK +++

 

MUSIC 

*Dan Pashman: Welcome back to The Sporkful, I’m Dan Pashman. In last week's show, I talked with Asma Khan, chef and owner of London’s Darjeeling Express. All the cooks at Asma’s restaurants are women — and like Asma, they all learned to cook not in culinary school, but from their mothers. As a girl growing up in India, Asma felt like a second-class citizen in a society that prized boys. Especially, when it came to food:

CLIP (ASMA KHAN): Food is always about power, who eats, who eats what, who's served what. Men were served first. The boys were served first. Women ate last and girls ate least. You hear stories from girls talking about the burnt roti. This is a very emotional — you can't even comprehend and say it that I always got the burnt roti. It was the rejects that were given to girls.

*Dan Pashman: Hear how this experience fueled Asma, and hear the surprising story behind how her restaurant was funded. That episode’s up now. Get it wherever you got this one.

Dan Pashman: All right, back now to the phone limes now with Brittany Luse and Eric Eddings cohosts of the podcast For Colored Nerds and real-life best friends. Brittany and Eric, you ready to take some calls?

Brittany Luse: Mm-hmm.

Eric Eddings: Let’s do it.

Dan Pashman: All right. Hi. Who's this?

Tamara: Hi, this is Tamara calling from Northport, Long Island. I'm here with my husband, Jacob. 

Jacob: Hi.

Dan Pashman: Hey, Jacob. Say hi to my friends Brittany and Eric.

Brittany Luse: Hello.

Tamara: Hi, Brittany and Eric. 

Jacob: Hey, guys.

Eric Eddings: Hey y’all.

Dan Pashman: So, Tamara, tell us what the issue is.

Tamara: So I notice that whenever we're eating, he always eats his food separately, even though it's on the same plate. So chicken, green beans, and mashed potatoes, they all go separately, when I think we should be eating it, chicken and green beans and mashed potatoes all in one bite?

Eric Eddings: Hmm.

Jacob: Yeah. And it's not so much, so I don't have an issue with that she wants to do that. The issue is really that she has an issue with me wanting to eat my food separately. 

[LAUGHING] 

Brittany Luse: Hmm. 

Jacob: And my argument is, if it's served to me and it's clear, like if the meatballs are in with the spaghetti, they're supposed to be eaten together. 

Brittany Luse: Mm-hm. 

Jacob: But if they're served to me separately, I shouldn't be bound to having to balance each item on my dish on the fork every time. Sometimes I'm watching her and it takes her like 5 minutes just to get everything on one fork. Anyways, this is like a nightly discussion.

[LAUGHING]

Eric Eddings: Clearly. Clearly, it's something that pops up often. 

Tamara: It does. It does.

Eric Eddings: What do you feel like you gain, Tamara, from combining all the foods in each bite? 

Tamara: I feel like the point of cooking things together, like complementary dishes, is that they taste good together. So you have, let's say, like the saltiness and the sweetness or like the different textures all in one bite, which I think complement each other.

Brittany Luse: Jacob, I have a question. Is it that you will only eat one type of food at a time that's on a plate? Or will you just take separate bites of each without mixing the food together?

Jacob: Separate bites. I'll usually go around the circle. Let's say I got three or four things on my dish. I'll go for the mashed potatoes and then the pork and then the corn and then the bread or whatever. And then around in a circle I won't eat everything at once.

Brittany Luse: My follow-up question is — and I'm going to ask this to both of you. Jacob, are you a picky eater?

Jacob: No. 

Eric Eddings: Ooh.

Brittany Luse: Tamara, do you agree? 

[LAUGHING]

Tamara: He's definitely not a picky eater. I'll say that. You're not a picky eater. 

Jacob: Thank you.

Tamara: But you can be particular with how you want things made.

Jacob: I can be a …

Jacob + Tamara: Snob.

[LAUGHING]

Jacob: I'll eat any type of food. You can't gross me out when it comes to — I'll eat anything. 

Tamara: You will.

Jacob: But if I — for instance, if I go to a restaurant and I'm paying for food, I want the food to be a certain quality. 

Brittany Luse: Gotcha. 

Jacob: Otherwise, I'll just make it at home. 

Eric Eddings: You're a man of taste.

Brittany Luse: Mm-hmm. 

Eric Eddings: You know? That's okay. 

Jacob: That's all. That's all. 

Eric Eddings: I get that

Brittany Luse: That's very helpful. 

Dan Pashman: So it seems like there's the surface debate, which is like, should Jacob be eating his food separately or combining them? But then there's the deeper issue, which used to identify Jacob, which is that you're like, look, Tamara can do whatever she wants. Why does she want to make me do it the way she wants? 

Eric Eddings: Mm-hmm. 

Brittany Luse: Hmm. 

Dan Pashman: Tamara, you would have us compel Jacob to eat differently. Why do you think we should do that?

Tamara: I mean, you cook things that — like turkey dinner, right? Like the point is that everything tastes really good together. At that point, just make paella with pizza at that point. Just like — cause it's different. I mean, you're eating them separately anyways.

Eric Eddings: Jacob, have you tried any of the dishes that she is particularly perturbed by you eating separately together?

Jacob: Have I ever done it to appease you? 

Tamara: No.

Jacob: I won't do that of out principle to appease her. Okay?

[LAUGHING]

Jacob: Because she’s making it seem like I'm doing it wrong and I just give her that. No. But I — look, I have done that before, but to me, it's more like I am still enjoying the food together, just not at the exact same time. So, for instance, if I'm eating — my mom makes chicken cutlets a particular way that she taught me. If I'm eating that, when I have that in my mouth, I only want to taste that because I love it so much. 

Brittany Luse: Hmm. 

Jacob: I don't want the string beans that I made with it taking away from it at all. But if I'm eating them one after the next, they still complement each other because the taste is still lingering, but it doesn't take away from the one flavor sometimes that I'm really after.

Dan Pashman: So Brittany and Eric, what are your thoughts here?

Eric Eddings: So I'll be honest, I started this conversation firmly thinking that Jacob was right. I am … and hear me out. Hear me out. 

[LAUGHING] 

Eric Eddings: I can see your reaction.

Dan Pashman: Tamara just looked horrified.

Brittany Luse: The betrayal.

Eric Eddings: So I, for what it’s worth, I'm a very particular person as well. But there was one time, I'm not sure if I had, you know, tried some herbs that are legal in the state where I live, but I got a burger, some fries, and a coke. And I took a bite of the burger and something instinctual said, “Put two of those fries in your mouth, too.” And I did it, and I was like, “Oh this is not bad.” I’m not gonna lie, something else jumped out right after that, and was like, “Take a sip of Coke.” And I took a sip of Coke. And I know this sounds insane. And I'm not even really the most like adventurous, crazy, adventurous food person.

Brittany Luse: No. No, he's not.

Eric Eddings: But this was delightful. Now, when I eat a burger and fries, do I eat them all together the whole time? No. Do I do it for a couple bites? Yes, because it's kind of pleasant. The thing that stuck out to me, Jacob, is that you don't always try it. I think that if you — or you haven't tried it. I think I say live your truth. You know, you don't always have to put them together, but try it in a few dishes at least once.

Dan Pashman: Give it a shot, is what you're saying, Eric.

Eric Eddings: Give it a shot.

Dan Pashman: Right. 

Eric Eddings: Because you just might discover something. 

Jacob: All right.

Dan Pashman: All right. Brittany?

Brittany Luse: You know ... [SIGHS] I actually am also a lot like you, Jacob, truthfully. I can be very particular about the way that things taste, the way that things smell. I have a big issue with the fact that it's an automatic that cheese goes on sandwiches. I think that's awful. I don't think it goes with everything that goes with — I think it depends on the temperature of the sandwich.

Dan Pashman: Tamara just looked horrified again.

Brittany Luse: I know. I —  all of this stuff really distresses my fiancee. There's places where each of you is right and there's places where each of you could compromise a little bit more. Tamara, I think it's so wonderful that you want to encourage Jacob to see and taste the world as you do. Do you know what I'm saying? It's like, why cut yourself off from from a good experience? There does come a point where you have to step away, but also, I mean, I’ll say to that point, I only had a Cheeto for the first time a year ago, a little under a year ago. Cheez-Its I had for the first time eight years ago, actually

Dan Pashman: Wow. We’re gonna need another episode to cover this issue, Brittany.

Brittany Luse: I have a lot of issues with cheese. But I said no for years and years and years, and then I finally had one. Maybe you're gonna have to pick and choose when — like instead of every time Jacob wants to eat his food separately and it bothers you, to maybe picking and choosing when you know those crucial moments are when you just know something is supposed to go together really beautifully. And then just bothering him about it until he tries it. And Jacob, the thing is, is that she wants you to taste what she's tasting and to be in her shoes. That's very beautiful. It's like having a shared experience in so many ways.

Eric Eddings: There's a good Beyoncé lyric. She says, “Why don't you let me upgrade you?” Wouldn’t you want somebody to take you to the best place you could possibly be?

Brittany Luse: Hmmm. 

Dan Pashman: [LAUGHS]

Jacob: You gave her a line to use on me. Excellent.

[LAUGHING]

Dan Pashman: Brittany and Eric, I think that's great advice. I initially was leaning towards Jacob too, but over time I find myself identifying more with you Tamara because I am also a person who loves food and wants other people to enjoy something that I'm enjoying as much as I'm enjoying it. My wife is just not as into food as I am. I’ll go running round NYC to special places to get my lunch while I’m in the city. And then I’ll come out and I’ll bring bags on on the Long Island Rail Road of all these special treats that I’ve acquired all over the city to bring home. And I’m like, look at this incredible thing that I brought you! It’s like this place is — everyone wants to eat here, and I just brought it. Here it is! And she’ll eat it while checking email. 

[LAUGHING]

Dan Pashman: She won’t even know what she just put in her mouth. I’ll put it next to her, like I’m bringing her this offering, and she’ll eat it without looking at it and without paying any attention to what she just ate, and I will be crestfallen because I wanted her to enjoy it. 

Jacob: Yeah. 

Dan Pashman: As much as I enjoyed it. But, and sometimes that's disappointing, but other times I just have to shrug. Jacob, It seems like a lot of your resistance is just coming from a sort of knee jerk reaction of not wanting to feel like Tamara is kind of controlling you, right? 

Brittany Luse: Hmm. Hmm. 

Dan Pashman: Which I can understand. You know, I think that goes both ways. And nobody wants to feel like — you know, everybody likes to, in a relationship, you need to maintain your own control over certain things. Tamara, I think it may have felt to Jacob at times, like you're kind of trying to micromanage his life a little bit. But Tamara, the thing is, you know, you can only change people so much. You know, you can lead a horse to water, etc., etc.

Brittany Luse: [LAUGHING]

Eric Eddings: You guys just looked at each other. It was so nice. 

Brittany Luse: So cute. It is cute.

Eric Eddings: So it was just like, we're probably going to compromise. 

[LAUGHING] 

Eric Eddings: We, you know — I don't ... I don't want to admit it right now, but maybe later.

Dan Pashman: Yeah. I will add, though, real quick, in defense of one of Jacob's points, just like, yes, flavors on the plate go together, but they can go together by alternating bites. 

Eric Eddings: Yes. 

Dan Pashman: Like Eric, you're from Memphis, right? 

Eric Eddings: Mm-hmm. Yeah. 

Dan Pashman: When I was in Tennessee last, someone told me about the concept of the sweet out. You eat your entree, your salty, smoky, whatever. 

Eric Eddings: Mm-hmm. 

Dan Pashman: And then you have your sweet dessert, but you save a little piece of the [Eric Eddings: Yeah.] savory food, let’s say the pulled pork or the rib or whatever on the side of the plate. You don't get rid of it and then after you're done with dessert, you have one more bite of something salty.

Brittany Luse: Oh, okay. I like that. 

Eric Eddings: Big facts, right?

Brittany Luse: I like that.

Dan Pashman: Because it tastes different and new again after having eaten something sweet. So I do think that there's merit to that concept, Jacob.

Jacob: All right, I'll take the one point. Thank you.

[LAUGHING]

Dan Pashman: I think we've hit on a good compromise, which is that Jacob, you have ot be a little more willing to try Tamara's approach. And Tamara, you have to be a little more willing to accept Jacob as he is and that, you know, at certain times, you're just gonna have to let him eat it the way he wants to eat it. 

Tamara: All right. That's fair. 

Jacob: I think it's fair.

Dan Pashman: Okay. All right. 

MUSIC

Dan Pashman: Well, Tamara and Jacob, thanks so much. We hope you enjoy your next meal that you will eat together. Whether or not the foods will be eaten together is another question.

Jacob: Yes, absolutely. Thank you, guys.

Tamara: Thanks guys. 

Brittany Luse: Thank you.

Dan Pashman: All right. Take care.

Eric Eddings: Peace out.

Brittany Luse: Good luck.

MUSIC

Dan Pashman: All right, Brittany and Eric, I think we've helped so more people today. 

Eric Eddings: We are doing hardest job out there. 

Brittany Luse: We are. 

Eric Eddings: And we do it well. You know?

Dan Pashman: Yes. Well, thank you so much. The podcast is called For Colored Nerds. It's always a pleasure to hang out. Hope folks will check out your show as well, in which you talk about all kinds of culture, including food. So thank so much. Take care and we'll talk to you soon. 

Eric Eddings: Seriously, it's been a pleasure. 

Brittany Luse: Thank you so much. 

*Dan Pashman: Next week oh the show, I travel to The Simpson's writer's room. Yes, seriously, dream come true. I find out what food means to writers and to The Simpson's, themselves. That's next week. In the meantime, check out last week's show with Asma Kahn. It's a great conversation. And please remember to connect with our show in your podcasting app. Whatever your app is, if it's the plus sign or subscribe or follow, just check our show page in your podcasting app, that way you'll never miss an episode and we can hang out all the time. You can do it right now, while you're listening. Thank you.